


What It's like to Become Yourself (or a story of two dorks)

by Cardination



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humanstuck, I wrote this because i want happy gamtav, I'm planning to write lots of chapters, M/M, Mutual Pining, Odd updating schedule, Terezi loves her gfs, They will get longer as the story develops, Title Subject to Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-08-12 18:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7944619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cardination/pseuds/Cardination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College is a difficult transition for almost all of us. Growing up, dealing with life's everyday challenges, pulling all-nighters, and in Tavros and Gamzee's cases, pining for your roommate. This is a story about growth and change and hardships and good times and hoping that in the end, things turn out alright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Taking The First Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfic I've posted ever, and I really hope you enjoy it; I have a lot of feelings for this AU tbh.

**Tavros**

Fourty-five minutes. Forty-five minutes you've been waiting here, for them to give you your keys. Your name is Tavros Nitram and all you want is to give you your keys to your dorm room, so that you can get inside. You're standing here with your dad, boxes of miscellaneous stuff you've packed in both of your arms.

It's a stupid idea, you now realize. You should have left it in the car and maybe gone and got a coffee while you were waiting for them to straighten out their little "mix-up". But instead, you were standing and waiting for them to get back with your _keys_. Papa wasn't too pleased, either. He didn't set aside the thousands of dollars to stay at this dorm for the year to not be able to get in. Oh, the money. Your father could go on about what a hassle it was, even with all of the scholarships you managed to get, to be able to pay for all of this.

And... finally, there they were, back with something in hand; a key card. Fancy. They handed it to you with a tired smile and you gave them a small, polite one in return. "Thanks..." you took it and quickly proceeded to the elevator to reach your room. It was located on the fifth floor. You didn't like the idea of being too high off of the ground, at least after a particular incident near the begining of highschool. However, you were mostly just glad that it wasn't even higher up. This building did have fourteen floors, after all.

You stepped out of the elevator, your father having followed you, and walked down the hallway until you reached your assigned room. The room had you sharing with one other person, who wasn't here yet. You only know this because you had been able to learn his name and exchange a few words with him through the school website. All you knew was that his name was Gamzee, he was from California, he's 18 (the same age as you), and that he would move in a few days after you did. He seemed pleasant enough, or at least you hoped.

You can also tell that he's not here yet when you finally unlock and push open the door to your new home and see it mostly empty. It's an alright size, for a dorm, with two beds against the walls, one large window, two desks, and a door leading to what is presumably the bathroom.

The two of you walk in and set the boxes down with relieved sighs and you shake the circulation back into your fingers.

"Do you need any help unpacking this stuff...?" Your father asks.

"Oh, no... I can do it by myself later tonight." You offer a smile to him.

"Alright, well, I guess I'm gonna leave, then, since I'm not doing anything here... I'm going to say goodbye first, though."

You walk up to your dad and he meets you half way with a hug. He sighs.

"I'm going to miss you, Tavros. Text me whenever you want, alright, son?"

"Okay, dad. I'll miss you too."

"I'm so proud of you," he says quietly. You just smile again, but when he pulls away, he seems a little teary.

"Thanks... don't be sad though, I'm not gone for ever, or anything..."

He laughs. "Oh, I know, it's just a big deal to see you going off, into the big world. Being an adult. You're going to have so much fun, and grow so much. I can't wait to see what man you'll be in the end."

You feel a little tug at your heartstrings, feeling somewhat touched by your old man's sappiness.

"I'll try to be one that'll make you proud, dad. Um, and see you at winter break, I guess." Wow, that is a long time to be alone.

And with that, you say goodbye to each other again and he really leaves. You close the door after him, make your bed, and then sit on it. You stare out of the window, having chose the bed closest to it and listen to some music on your phone until you get hungry. You find your way to the dining hall after a while, eat a hamburger alone, then come back to your dorm. You'll do more exploring later, but for now, you just want to look at social media until your eyes hurt and then go to sleep. So, that's what you do, your thoughts drifting to your past and the possibilites of your future before you eventually start to slowly drift off.

 

 

Growing up, it's a scary thought.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think so far, maybe? Next chapter will include Gamzee, btw! I expect this fic to update almost weekly. Later chapters will be more complex than this I promise lmao
> 
>  
> 
> Follow my tumblr? Cardinalambition.tumblr.com :)


	2. A New Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee's arrival at the dorm room. Our roommates finally meet each other. Enjoy!

**Gamzee**

You step out of your car after driving yourself here for about an hour or so. Driving near the beach (where your house is) in California, but you made sure not to pick a beach day to haul your ass to college. Ah, college. You're actually pretty worried about this, in general. Would you make friends? Maybe a few. Could you be responsible enough to finish your homework? Not likely. Would you even pass your classes at all? Who knows.

Worries aside, you decide to leave your shit in the car for now, so that you can go get your key and find your dorm room, then introduce yourself to your new roommate and whatever else you feel like. Said roommate's name is Tavros, and that's about all that you know about him, besides the fact that he said he would bring a mini fridge, and that he moved in a few days before you. You hope he's nice.

You get your key from the lobby and head up to level five out of eleven, then walk down the hallway and to the correct room number. You breathe a sigh of relief when your key works, whispering "thank God I didn't try the wrong one..." and then pushing the door open.

You are greated with a young man snapping his head towards the door and at you. He seems a little surprised, like maybe he was very focused on the book he was reading on his bed, and you simply smile at him and give a little wave, then close the door with a soft click. Oh, maybe you should introduce yourself.

"Hey, I'm Gamzee."

It seems to click based on the look in his eyes.

"Oh, hi, I'm Tavros." He smiles a cute little smile at you. Probably just to be polite, but it's still cute.

You walk over and sit on the bed adjacent to his, figuring that it's yours. You would have picked the one by the window, but oh well.

"Good to be finally seeing you in person, bro."

"Thanks, uh, you too."

     After a moment of silence, you speak again. You were never too good at just striking up a conversation.

"So where you come from?"

     "Well, I lived in Mexico for a few years, when I was born, and then to Arizona. Then here, just recently. With my dad."

"Oh sweet, I just lived here for forever. I think I told you that."

"Yeah, I knew that... California's pretty nice, if not a little expensive."

"That's true, bro. Back at my house it was pretty small for what money we had, but the view was sweet as fuck."

"That's cool... my dad and I just live in an apartment... my brother used to live with us, too, but he moved to Anaheim and got a job there... do you have any siblings...?"

"Yeah I do, I got an older brother too. Motherfucking coincidence. He's married these days, though."

"Oh, good for him."

You nod. You hope he's still happy with her.

"What are you majoring in, bro?" You decide to ask next.

     "Well, I'm taking biology and zoology classes and minoring in them, and then I'm planning to go to vetrinary school."

"Hey, sweet! I love animals. That's gotta be a real nice job... good pay and shit. You know, I've always wanted a dog."

This gets Tavros to smile again. "Aw, didn't you have any pets as a kid...?"

"Nope. Dad always turned me down."

"That's too bad! Well, if you ever want one, then you know who to come to, for veterinary things, at least."

"I'll keep that in mind." You smile back at him, feeling a bit of the awkward first-time-meetingness fade

"So, what are you majoring in, Gamzee?"

Oh. Uh... "I ain't really decided yet... I'm trying to choose between philosophy, and what I wanna be really doing, which is art... just haven't up and thought of what I'd be doing better in."

"Um, do whatever makes you happy, right? I mean, maybe one would get you more money, but as long as you do okay, then... well, you're probably still happy."

You give a soft smile. "Yeah... thanks for the advice, brother."

"Heh, you're welcome."

     You lay back on your naked bed and stare at the ceiling for a while, the two of you dissolving into a fairly comfortable silence. You begin to let your thoughts drift into a sort of TV static, glad to finally be able to lay down on this moderately comfortable bed. Getting this far wasn't easy. You'll have to pay for a good amount of your college fees, though you already managed to receive a few scholarships, and have your brother and his wife helping you out. No thanks to your father. You were going to take a few art and philosophy classes, decide which one is more likely to land you a job, then drop the other class next semester. A pretty sound plan, if you ask yourself.

What else was new? Oh yeah, new roommate. He does, in fact, seem very nice. You were worried you would get some obnoxious asshole, but God, are you glad you have Tavros for one. He's so cute, too, not to be creepy, but he seems like a really nice guy. He's not mean or anything, as far as you can tell. He just seems overall sweet and friendly, from a first impression. Not to mention his hair. Damn, Tavros has some really cool hair. You'll have to tell him that sometime. Maybe later today. Speaking of which, what were you going to do today, anyways?

As if Tavros read your mind, he says, "Hey, um, so I was thinking, I'm getting kind of hungry, so maybe, you'd like to go down to the dining hall and eat something, too...?"

You sit up as he's speaking and grin. "That would be awesome, bro. I'm motherfucking starving. We can be to talk some more, too."

"Okay! Just let me get my shoes on and we can go."

With that, he hops off of his bed and pulls on his shoes. You don't need to, since you never took yours off in the first place. You stand and open the door, holding it for him with a smile. He smiles back at you as he walks out.

You two make your way to the dining hall, exchanging a few words about each other along the way. You don't actually know where the dining hall is, so it's a good thing that you have your new friend to lead you to it.

Once inside, you get yourself a slice of pizza, Tavros gets some kind of sandwich, and the both of you sit across from each other, learning more details about each other; friends, family, hobbies, and the like. You learn that both of you like rap music, too. It's a really nice time, especially for a first time meeting someone, and you can't help but feel like you two clicked.

You're so thankful for that, too. Having a friend to start the schoolyear off with is a big relief. You don't want to only have like, only one friend, especially since that friend is majoring in something completely different than you, and living off campus. Not to mention Tavros is pretty much the cutest guy you've talked to ever (that definitely doesn't sound weird... but seriously, he's adorable. You wouldn't complain if you had to see him every day. Which you do have to.) Maybe he'll want to hang out with you, even.


	3. Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I've been sick... ah, the stress of school.

**Tavros**

Today is the first day of classes and man, are you nervous.

There's all sorts of thoughts running through your head. What if you can't find your classes? What if you show up late? What if you show up to the wrong class? What if you fail a class and can't keep your scholarships? What if you don't make any friends and are forced to live a lonely, depressing college life? You wish Aradia was going to this college... you're really going to miss her. She was your best friend, after all. You could still text, but it wasn't quite the same as actually seeing each other in person.

Well, you already have one friend, sort of. You actually really like Gamzee, so far. He actually seemed eager to talk to you, which you appreciate. He also was pretty easy to talk to, not making you feel as judged as you usually do when first talking to someone. Maybe you would become good friends with him. You could see that! You're a bit excited to know him better, to be honest. And to just see his face around. He has a pretty nice face in your opinion, framed by lots of coily hair. It's helped by the fact that his neutral expression is a small, warm smile. Like he's thinking about something that makes him happy. Maybe it's just you. Oh goodness, that's a nice thought, to think he's smiling about you. You're not sure why, but you smile a little yourself and bite your bottom lip as a habit to stop it. You feel a bit embarrassed for some reason and quickly look around the small space to make sure no one's looking at you, even though you know no one's there.

No one except Gamzee, fast asleep and sprawled out on his bed. He got all of his stuff into his side of the room yesterday after dinner, but only unpacked all of his bedstuff so that he could sleep. Seems about right to you.

His classes don't start until around eleven a.m. or so, but right now, it's eight in the morning and yours start at nine. You wanted to start yours early enough to have the better part of your evening to do whatever. You guess Gamzee wants to be able to sleep in, and you can respect that. You should probably start getting going, though.

You gather your stuff and head out the door, deciding to get some breakfast at the dining hall before going to class. Your first class of the day is... you pull out your phone to double-check. You head to the building, find your classroom, and sit down.

* * *

 

  **Gamzee**

You wake up to having a minor heart attack. Or at least, that's what it feels like, your chest pounding with each beat of your heart. Something must have woken you up, but you can't figure out what it is. It's kind of difficult when you're flailing and falling off of your bed, hitting the ground hard with a loud thud. It isn't until your mind is clear enough to comprehend what just happened that you realize your alarm is going off.

With a sigh, you stand up and untangle yourself from your sheets, set them back on your bed in a tangled mess, and then fumble with your phone until you can turn off your alarm.

You run a hand through your tangled mass of hair.

This first day is not going to be easy.

Where was your roommate, anyways...? Oh, that's right, last night, Tavros had said that he started his classes a few hours earlier. Good for him. Early bird gets the worm, as they say. It was probably better this way, him leaving before you even woke up. You wouldn't have to worry about any sort of trying-not-to-look-at-each-other-while-we-change situation. Anyways.

You get up, pull on some clothes, comb your hair, (some people wouldn't believe it, but you do actually comb your hair in the morning) and then reapply your makeup. Yes, you also do wear makeup. Not like any silly circus clown (you think that'd be fun, but not the best idea for public. You'd look like a juggalo for God's sake.) And not like a full face of makeup with eyeliner and stuff. No, it's nothing extravagant. It is only to cover up some considerably extravagant scars. How you got them is a story for another time.

 After that's done, you get your shoes on, grab your bag, and leave for your first class.

It's not until your fourth class that you really talk to anyone.

It's your creative writing class, which you signed up for the purpose of having that language arts credit. You're writing down a few things on a sheet of paper to remind yourself later, and you look up at the professor, squinting. You're trying to hear what she's saying, also to look like you're paying more attention than you really are. It's not your fault you're spacing out, that kind of just happens, especially when you have so much to remember already... you try to focus on her explaination of the syllabus and ignore a small stabbing sensation on your arm.

The stabbing sensation happens again.

"What the fu-" you mumble.

"You dropped your pencil, idiot!"

This is when you realize that the guy in front of you has been trying to get your attention for a few seconds.

He doesn't look like he should be in college, really. Maybe sophomore or junior year of highschool, small with black scruffy hair. He shoves the pencil in your face, obviously irritated that he has done this deed for you and you have ignored him.

A bit embarrassed, you take your pencil. "Must've slipped outta my hands, thanks..." you trail off as if there should be a name there.

"Karkat," he finishes.

"Thanks Karkat." You smile a little. Now, you know someone's name.

After class, as you're packing up, you hear someone speak to you again.

"Hey, what's your name?" Karkat asks.

"Gamzee, musta forgot to say earlier. Thanks for saving my pencil for me."

"You're welcome. You know, you don't need a pencil if you have your laptop with you."

You shrug. "I guess not. Gotta go, see you tomorrow, bro. Good to know someone in my class's name finally." Definitely good, now you had someone to ask for help in this class besides the professor.

"Yeah. Hey, do you want me to add you to this group chat I'm making with my friends? They wanted me to add people to it or something."

You raise your eyebrows in curiosity. "Oh, uh, sure, bro..." couldn't hurt. It could even help you find a sort of circle of people to talk to. You give him your number, not entirely sure what to expect, but it was an alright start.

  
"See you later." After he enters you in as a new contact, you leave and wave goodbye to him. He waves back to you.


	4. Invited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee has an elaborate mind, also they are gonna go somewhere with friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic isn't dead!

**Gamzee**

Your first day is long, not terrible, but long. And so is the next and the next and the next and the next...

You've been talking to a few people. Since Karkat added you to the group chat, you've been able to meet a few new people, most of whom you don't interact woth that much, and they all lnow each other better than they know you, bit still. You may even deign to say that you have made some friends.

There's Tavros, too, of course. Cute little sassy Tavros, your roomate. Oh man, did you say cute? Uh.

Well you'll just admit it. It's been hard to take your eyes off of that class-a face every time you see him. He's got a great smile every time he sees you, too, and a laugh like unicorns and sleighbells and angels singing and damn... you love it when he gets talking to you when he should be studying and goes on about some tv show he likes or a song he heard or a call his brother gave him and his dog, a big fluffy one, white and lovable. Her name is Tink, apparantly. Damn that is cute. Damn...

Anyways. Tavros is a great kid. He works hard, as hard as you probably should. Man, you try to work hard, but you're too much m of a lazyass to really set your mind to somethings. And you hate that.

And you are rambling.

Today, you have promised to with some of your friends to an open mic sort of event, apparantly. Karkat said that some of them wanted to sing, or do a standup comedy act or whatever they do at those. You think they do just about everything at those. Open means that everything goes, right? That's what you think.

You know some of these people that are going. You've talked with Karkat over the phone, along with Dave and Kanaya and Nepeta and Rose and some others. You've even had study group things with some of them. It should be silly, you're mostly going for whatever food is there.

But hey... maybe Tavros will come? He's like, that one friend that you feel like no harm will come to you if you are with him, so it'd be cool if he would. Please let him come, God, you got this notion that he'll be fun as hell for a night out like this. If it's boring then you could huddle together and just talk to each other, then maybe bail and go leave with Karkat and and Tavros. Or just Tavros and go home.

* * *

As soon as you get off classes, you head back to your dorm, greeting Tavros cheerfully.

"Hey, Tav!" You come in swiftly, closing the door after you do.

He looks up at you from his laptop, one of his sparkling smiles on his face at the sight of you. You! Imagine that. "Hey, Gamzee. What's up?" He continues to type away at said computer.

"Nothing." You sit down on your bed.

You don't know why, but it takes some time for you to think of what to say and how to say it and when... do you ask him now, is he going to blow you off if you ask him, should you ask him at all...

Oh, for god's sake, Gamzee! It's just a night out with friends, be chill...

"...Actually, I got invited to go to an open mic night thing with some people..." you wait to see what he'll say about that. Just in case he thinks it's dumb.

His response is fortunately positive. "Sounds like fun, are you going to go?" More clicking of his keyboard... he must be doing homework, he might not be able to go.

"Yeah, just gotta read some stuff I got assigned first. Do you wanna come with, bro?"

"Oh, um," he looks at you finally, and you smile him. He smiles back at you and you can just tell that he is gonna say that yeah, of course he'll come. Please say that. "Sure, I'll go. When is it?"

You could pump your fist in the air. "Six o'clock."

"Okay, I'll just finish writing this first, and then we can go. And maybe grab something to eat first?"

Yessss... "sounds good to me."

"Cool, it's a plan, then."

You grab your book and wait for six to come as fast as it can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the day will be posted soon. :)


	5. Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leading up to the night!

**Tavros**

That evening comes sooner than you expect.

You spend the few hours you have at your dorm on your computer typing up an essay, Gamzee on his bed next to you, reading out of a biology textbook and scribbling some stuff down on a piece of paper every once in a while. It's quite peaceful, really, and while you definitely don't enjoy doing any type of homwork, you enjoy Gamzee's company. You enjoy his company in most situations, really.

Once it turns five o'clock, you close your document (saving it first, of course), shut your computer, and look over at Gamzee. And yep, he's not actually doing homework anymore, as you would expect. He didn't have much of a capacity for staying focused on things that he didn't want to do, you had gathered that in the while you've known him. Currently, he's laying there still, but he's reading something on his phone, headphones in his ears. You suppose you should get his attention.

"Gamzee," you say to him, with no answer. He just furrows his eyebrows and brings his phone closer to his face.

You set your laptop aside and stand up, then walk over and set a hand on his shoulder.

"Gamzee."

He jumps, flinching violently while tossing his phone away from himself. You can't help but giggle at the yelp he makes. He must have really been focused.

He pulls his earbuds out and looks at you.

"Motherfuck, you scared me."

You move your hand off of his shoulder and smile.

"Sorry. It's five o'clock, I thought you might want to go soon."

He looks at his clock, standing up with a "shit!"

"Thanks bro, uh," he looks around. "Just gimme a minute." He then walks off, presumably to the bathroom. You didn't excpect him to seem so embarrassed. Oh well, it's actually kind of cute.

You shake yourself out of your thoughts and go to get some proper clothes on.

It's a little chilly outside; winter's coming soon, so the nights are growing cold. You don your jacket, a soft, brown zip-up hoodie, and keep your t-shirt on. You do change from your sweatpants into jeans, though. Once you're done with that and you've brushed your hair, Gamzee's finally finished in the bathroom. You suspect that most of that time was spent overcoming his embarrassment.

"You done, Tav?"

"Yeah, I'm ready, I just need shoes. Are you?"

He nods.

You quirk an eyebrow.

"Are you sure? Aren't you going to get cold?"

He smiles, looking very sure of himself. "Nah, I'm good."

You just shrug. "Okay."

You both get your shoes on, and leave to get some food.

* * *

 

 

**Gamzee**

You both end up agreeing on going to get some burgers for dinner before the rest of the night.

You and Tavros both end up getting the same thing, too: a burger, fries, and a milkshake. Part of you wants to offer that you just share one, since you wouldn't drink all of yours anyhow, but dammit, you're too shy to say that. It would have been a prime opportunity to get in some silly indirect kiss, or something like that, you're so weird for wanting that. Uhg, stop thinking things like that, Gamzee!

You keep embarrassing yourself tonight, and Tavros keeps just giving you his benign smile. You always freeze up more and your heart clenches when he does. You don't know if it's because you're getting more embarrassed when you're reminded that he's a cute boy, or if it's just because you are reminded, simply, that he is in fact a cute boy.

You're so happy to be here with him and having a nice time. But, still your nerves are on high alert or something. God, it's weird.

You're a mess.

The waitress brings you your food, distracting you from your thoughts. You don't have time to do much except look up at her before Tavros thanks her and she leaves. Once you look back down, there's your food, along with a vanilla milkshake. Huh.

You had almost lost track of Tavros being right in front of you. You don't notice the half-dissociated expression you're making, either, until Tavros speaks.

"Uh, hey dude, are you okay? You've been kind of, zoned out..."

Oh shit. "I'm all good." And what else do you tell him, that you've been all jittery about this ever since he agreed? That you dissociate when you worry? You take a breath and smile bashfully.

"Sorry, bro, I just... I'm still kinda embarrassed. I've been nervous about fucking up tonight..."

"It's okay," he gives you that smile and you just about die. "We're just, having fun tonight, right? You don't have to worry."

You nod and sigh, laughing at yourself a little. "Yeah, I know. I guess I'm just not the most comfortable with these new people I'm gonna be hanging with."

"You don't know them?"

"Well, I know a few of them, I just haven't hung around them much, you know."

"Oh. Yeah I get that... I'm really awkward around new people..."

"I'm sure they gonna love you."

He shrugs, smiling.

"Hey, if they're stupid enough to like me, then they gotta like you."

He actually laughs at that, holy shit. You made him laugh. "Don't say that, I like you, and I'm not stupid!"

"Aw, sorry bro that ain't what I mean. I just mean, you're great, so if they don't like you, then that's some whack shit."

He shrugs again, looking down at his burger and taking a bite. You think you saw his cheeks get slightly redder.

After that, you both finish dinner pretty quickly. You pay for the both of you, with only mild protest from Tavros. Hey, you brought him with, you're going to treat him.

Once you both step outside, the cold air hits you, and you mentally curse yourself for not bringing a jacket. You won't tell Tavros that, though, not until it's cold enough to get frostbite. You push through the chill.

"So, where are we going...?" He looks at you. Oh, that's right you never told him the exact place.

"It's just up this road, we're going to Heidi's." It was supposed to be somewhat of a popular hangout among students, and you guess that some of the people going will probably be drinking. With the both of you being only 18, you couldn't, of course.

"Okay, I've heard of that place."

It ends up taking only about five or so minutes for you to get there.

Outside of it, you see a small group of people hanging around. Recognizing a face, you rush over to it, Tavros following you.


	6. Gathering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They spend the evening at a cool place called Heidi's where there happens to be an open mic night at that night, and gayness ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god im so sorry for not updating this for forever, it's not dead, it was just dormant.

"Gamzee, you're finally here. It took you long enough. Wait... why is Tavros here?"  
  
You grin wide, approaching Karkat, the guy you recognize from your English class. Tavros follows close behind you.  
  
"I brought my bro Tavros with me, didn't I tell you he was coming?"  
  
He looks at you for a moment, confused. "You told me you were bringing your roommate with you, not one of Aradia's friends."  
  
Tavros smiles, a little embarrassed. "I guess I didn't specify that I was coming with you. Sorry about that."  
  
"Oh I'm not complaining, I'm happy to see your face with this asshole instead of some other douches." That makes you feel a little special. You smile, even though the point of the statement wasn't really you.  
  
"Aw, thanks, Karbro. I'm glad to see you, too."

 

 

Although thankful to see a familiar face, you don't know who the others are. There's a blonde girl standing behind a blonde dude that looks uncannily like her, and that dude is standing behind karkat. Near them is a tall jock-type guy with a shorter girl, and she's talking to a few, kind of scary looking girls. She looks quite cheerful to see them, though so they must be nice.  
  
Karkat yells at you all to get yourselves in the building now that everyone is here. You and everyone else gather into the venue, a one story, black building with colorful lights it looks like there's a place to hang out on top of it, too, and you spot a few people there, talking amongst themselves.  
  
Karkat and the two blondes seem to lead them all at the front of the group, and right behind them are the rest of you, except for you and Tavros. Since you didn't really know the rest of them, you stay a few feet behind them with him. You thought he might go ahead and talk with the rest of them, but he seems pretty content to hang with you. Before you enter the building, you see the blonde guy take Karkat's hand.  
  
As soon as you go in, you can tell what kind of place you're in. Its got a nice turn out of people, but it's not crowded. There's music playing, but it's not blasting, and a few people are drinking, but no one looks smashed. They shouldn't, you suppose; it's only 8pm.  
  
You share a glance with Tavros on accident, when you look up, and he smiles at you. You smile back, and it isn't until after the wordless exchange that your heart flutters. He has such a nice smile, a knowing smile, like the both of you are in on a joke. You find it charming.  
  
The eight of you find a booth to sit in, Karkat settling in next to the blonde guy. Why is he wearing sunglasses inside? Fuck if you know. He looks about your age, and so does everyone else.  
  
"So this is Dave," he gestures to the guy next to him, who you think gives karkat an expression that could've been a smile. You don't know, if was very faint.  
  
"And then his sister Rose," the blonde girl next to him.  
  
"And then nepeta, and equius. And terezi and all her girlfriends, vriska and aradia, then nepeta falls into that crazy group."  
  
Terezi, the girl in the middle with red-lensed glasses, grins and wraps her arms around all of the girls mentioned besides Rose. You find that sweet.  
  
"And this is my friend Gamzee." Tavros pipes in, a smile on his face as he looks at you, and then at the rest. You giggle and wave.  
  
"Dorks," you hear Karkat mutter, smiling a little. "They should have the stage ready any minute, if any of you have something you want to surprise us with."  
  
"Actually," Tavros starts, "I booked a slot for an hour from now tonight."  
  
This surprises you. He didn't tell you about that, and from the looks on the others' faces, he didn't tell them, either.  
  
"Whoa, what's your act bro?" You grin.  
  
"I'm doing a song with Aradia, she's on piano." He looks excited for it, and so does Aradia. They lean in and high-five each other.  
  
That's sweet. You feel a silly worry that he might be in that relationship. Little do you know, that's stupid because they're all lesbians.  
  
"Me and Aradia have known each other since highschool." Tavros informs you. You nod.  
  
As the others begin to talk about whatnot, Tavros turns to you. "So... whats up?"  
  
"I dunno. Just chilling here with you feels like." You shrug, smiling and focusing on Tavros now instead of the small crowd.  
  
"I hope you're not too intimidated by all the new people, i was worried about that, a little."

"Oh it's not too bad. A little nervous to meet them but i think they chill enough."  
  
"Yeah, they're pretty nice and stuff, mostly, heh."  
  
"So what song you singing for us tonight?"  
  
"It's a secret." He smirks.  
  
"Well i guess that means it'll be more of a surprise when i hear it. You're gonna be great, i feel that."  
  
"Thanks, Gamzee." And there's his smile again, softer now.  
  
Everyone seems pretty settled in soon enough, with drinks in their hands (not alcohol, you would think), and the first performer steps onto the stage. They announce their name, or the name of their group. Within a minute, they're playing some pretty chill jazz music. Damn, you didn't expect such good musicians to show up. No wonder this is a popular place to come to.  
  
You settle for having a glass of water, and so does Tav. The two of you, and you suppose the... whole group just hangs around, having a pleasant time. You get to exchange a few words with the others, even. It's only small talk, but dammit, it's pleasant, and for the most part, its not awkward. That's a motherfucking accomplishment if you do say so yourself.

 

 

An hour passes more quickly than you thought it would. Tavros left to go get ready backstage with Aradia before their time slot, leaving you there with the rest of the gang.  
  
You look around, sipping your water, and when you look back to the group, Rose is smiling at you like she knows something.  
  
"What's up, sister?" You feel uncomfortable for a second before her face stops having that look on it.  
  
"Nothing. How are you enjoying the show?"  
  
"It's pretty motherfucking good i think. This place has some talented folks around." You take a drink from your nearly empty glass.  
  
"Yeah, it does. I only heard about this place recently, although this is my second year of college."  
  
"What's your major?"  
  
"Psychology. I was going to do marine biology, but i changed my mind. What are you majoring in?"  
  
"Oh hey, that's cool... I dunno, i was thinking art, but maybe something entirely motherfucking else."  
  
"That's respectable. You know Tavros's going on next?" She says this like she's insinuating something, but you don't know what that could be.  
  
"Yeah, i never heard him sing yet. I bet he's real good." No matter how good he sang, just seeing him up there was sure to get your heart in a frenzy.  
  
"We'll have to find out." She gives you another smile before turning to see him walk on stage.

 

  
Can we all take a minute to just look at him, look at the way he walks onto the stage all excited and nervous, smiling that beautiful smile? Oh your heart could melt looking at him. There's an applause as the duo takes stage, Aradia seating herself at the piano, and Tavros adjusting the microphone. The crowd silences for the most part and Aradia begins the song. He starts to sing.  
  
The song is one you've never heard before, soft and sweet, or maybe just pleasant but it sounds like the most beautiful poetry you've ever heard. He probably wrote it. You wouldn't be surprised, he's told you that he likes to write some of his own raps and such. You two should have a battle sometime.  
  
Right now, you are transfixed on him and the way his voice doesn't have a single harsh sound to it. It blends perfectly with its accompaniment. You absently note Aradia's skills, too. This is just so great, hes got talent out the ass and you could listen to him sing all day. You didn't expect him to be so confident in this, because you sure as hell wouldn't be. You guess that this is his element.  
  
It ends all too soon, and yet an eternity later. You wipe drool from the corner of your mouth. Ew.  
  
When everyone finishes clapping, they thank the crowd, then walk back to their seats. You try to look normal.

 


End file.
